Here's to you, Phil.

So some people have gods, other people have imaginary friends, and I have... well... Phil.  It's no secret to most of my friends that I'm a steady atheist, I have been ever since age 14 or 15.  I don't mind the idea of god, I just don't think there's much anyone can really do to get me to believe that he's real.

But what I do have is imaginary friends.  When I was much littler I had dogs, and now I have a pal called Phil.  Phil started out as a little hover-robot who followed my alter ego Katy around making snide and sarcastic comments while she was busy assassinating things and saving the galaxy.  At first (when I was in high school), there was this Vulcan dude called Soron that was pretty serious and stoic and such who was Katy's boyfriend/husband/mate/whatever Vulcan's call it.  But eventually Phil morphed (when I hit college) from a little sardonic  robot into a skinny red haired poet who talked a lot of smack on the outside but was lonely and melodramatic on the inside.  I remember describing him as a guy with carnival eyes; someone who gave you the impression that he was a one way ticket to fun 'n good times but ended up derailing halfway between sad and desperate.  Once he morphed into a dude instead of a bot, he was involved in a love triangle (kind of one sided on his part) with Katy and Robert, who was almost a vulcan, but in a human way, which was a lot less romantic, and in retrospect, a little depressing.

But anyway, Phil ended up talking to me a lot, and picks up a lot of my ex-christian praying.  He's a good guy to reason things out with, and he's a good guy to kind of half-heartedly pray too, 'cause he just shrugs and says, look, I can't do too much, you gotta do it yourself.   That's when he's not running around and climbing trees and generally acting like the playful snarky tomboy (who IS a boy... tell me how that works).  He's not really sad now that he's not in a love triangle, which I appreciate to no end.  I don't really know where Phil is going or what he's doing, he's just my bestest imaginary friend ever.  Maybe one day I'll try doing some creative-type writing again and he'll finally get the leading role he deserves, but til then well, here's to imaginary friends like Phil, and the creative juices that make 'em.