My ambition is to always be child-like (not childish, childishness is something completely different). Play to me is creating, imagining, and learning. I think some people think that the things I think of and dwell on are kind of dull, but in reality they are not. They are subtly joyful spirited expressions of my soul (and yes, though rationally an atheist, my creative side still believes in "soul"). As I said in a previous post, I love reading about things no one has thought of before, and that extends to the way I think. I want to think about and write about things no one has thought of before as well. Reading is a way to discover new things; I am more an Indiana Jones styled archeologist when I read more than anything else. I love studying things that are unstudiable, like televisions shows, adverts, music videos. I love theory because it helps me understand the things I am thinking about.
To me, play is a focused endeavor. If I read, I read, if I play a game, I play a game, if I draw I draw. I have a problem letting go of ideas, and am obsessively stubborn. But I must be involved and included, or I steep myself in the media too much. I can't stand movies because I insert myself into the characters. I cry horribly at movies, to me they are too cathartic... too much emotion in to small a space. If I watch something, I'd much rather watch a tv series, something that involves more character development than splashes of crazy feeling emotion.
Playfulness is different from fun. It is not an objective, it is a state of mind.
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